I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and I've gotten a lot stronger because of it. Issues that I have with people I live around are pretty much gone, and life is good. Once it was brought to my attention that I was trying to solve an unsolvable problem, my brain finally said "o.k. I'm cool with that." I put it to myself this way... "Your going crazy trying to analyze these peoples actions and the way they treat you, it's not rational, it's unsolvable, your acting like Sheldon if He was faced with an unsolvable science or math equation, so stop it!"
I have been seeing an awesome counselor. She is the one that helped me to figure this one out, she said since we have the same type of brain, it was easy. When you have a more psychological, compassionate brain you tend to analyze people and situations, and can drive yourself crazy if you can't "Solve the equation." She also made me realize that the people involved in this are stuck in the 6th grade gossipy girls scenario, which also helped me, and makes me laugh now when I see them acting like gossipy 6th grade girls in there little group on the playground. People can tell you to take your power back until they are blue in the face, they can tell you what they think you should do over and over, but it's up to YOU. YOU need to come to a conclusion, YOU need to take your time in taking your power back, YOU need to realize that even thou they may be making you feel it's all your fault, it has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with THEM, and YOU have no control over that. YOU need to care and be there for YOU!
One thing that has also really helped me is exercise! I was always very athletic, and it's a bummer but I got sick and couldn't do what I use to. Threats of thyroid cancer and now living with auto immune diseases made it hard, if not impossible, to get any type of exercise. I kept the faith, found an awesome doctor, and FORCED myself to get moving. I started out slow, doing
Tony Horton's first workout,
Power 90, with my most incredible and supportive hubby and a lot encouragement from our awesome 16 year old son. We then went on to
Chalean Extreme by
Chalene Johnson, the most wonderful woman I have ever met, that has helped me to realize my potential. She also taught me to get my TURBO ON, and punch and kick out my issues with
Turbo Fire. And now a year later we are on to the hardest workout I have ever done in my life,
Insanity. I can't even explain how powerful I feel just getting through a workout. It has helped me to feel stronger, not just physically, but mentally as well. I am 10 pounds away from my high school weight, and I have a more healthy looking body than I had in high school. But the body changing isn't the huge part for me, it's my mental changes I've went through. Feeling stronger makes you feel like you can achieve and live all of your dreams, it makes you set higher goals and achieve them, and the biggest one for me.... NO MORE DEPRESSION! And let me tell you, I have spent hundreds of days waking up feeling worthless, hopeless, and feeling that my family would be better off without me. I also felt like the people living around me, shooting daggers at me, would love to see me dead, I even had images of hanging myself from the front porch so they could see and be pleased that I was finally dead, so why not just give them what they want, then all the hatred, anger and resentment would all be over with and I could live in peace eternally. Well, I didn't take the easy way out, came close a few times, but didn't. I did spend lots of days over the last 3 years waking up crying, laying on the couch crying all day, and then going to bed at night crying. I'm surprised that I have any water left in my body! But I got off the couch and forced myself to do something about all this.
When it's come to diet there are several things you can do. Besides eating healthy and drinking
shakeology every day (it's been better than any anti depressant I could take!), I also am following the 6 week weight loss program that I found on
Heal your life. Please go there to read about what Christiane Northrup has taught me, and here is a taste of the 6 week program she talks about...
Week One: Love yourself exactly where you are.
Week Two: Imagine living your dreams.
Week Three: Make a “Desire and Pleasure” list.
Week Four: Undershoot on exercise. (for people just starting to get off the couch!)
Week Five: Eat like a pampered queen.
Week Six: Do some mirror work.
It's just incredible what you can learn from all of this, and the weight you can loose with just changing your mindset! If you are interested in any of the programs I mentioned or shakeology, please follow the links and click on them in this article. Beachbody has truly changed my life, along with a lot of soul searching, books by Louise Hay, and other books on emotions and self esteem. If you are looking for a good counselor in your area please go to www.psychologytoday.com and search, it's the best investment you can make for yourself!
